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The following talk by Stephanie Snuffer was given in St. George, Utah at a conference held on 12 April 2026 at the Dixie Convention Center.
Good morning. I didn’t actually plan to start ‘til 10, so maybe I’ll do those jazz hands that Annette wanted. Woo hoo. [Jazz hands.]
Okay! As… oh, down way lower? [moving the microphone]. Okay. I’m gonna correct something. I am not speaking until noon. I will speak ‘til 11, and there will be a break, and then Denver will speak. So… Okay.
Oh, I… In talking about culture, I think I have to explain something. The name of my talk, apparently, is pretty cool. “Dwindling in Unbelief: How Stupidity is its Own Punishment.” Now, that makes perfect sense to me, because part of our family culture is the phrase, “Stupidity is its own punishment.” And so, if you live in my house, you would have heard that over and over and over again as something that your parents would have told you when you were making choices that are going to result in a consequence, and that consequence may or may not be, you know, in your best interest.
We have a lot of them. “The more you wear, the less you carry.” Make sense? Take a handful, a passel of kids skiing, and if they’re not wearing their hats or their coats or their gloves, they’re asking you to carry them for you. So the more you wear, the less you carry.
So these are just some of our family cultural phrases. I’m sure you have your own. I will end there, but that’s the explanation of why my talk is called “Dwindling in Unbelief: How Stupidity is its Own Punishment.” Having said that:
When one prizes his or her errors…holds them as true (when they are not), one dwindles in unbelief. Unbelief is often used in connection with losing truth, forsaking doctrine, and therefore “dwindling.” The phrase “dwindling in unbelief” is the Book of Mormon’s way to describe moving from a state of belief, with true and complete doctrine, to a state of unbelief, where the truth has been discarded. Miracles end because men dwindle in unbelief. (“Dwindle in Unbelief,” Glossary of Gospel Terms)
And that’s from the glossary.
So I have a working theory, and my working theory is that, well, let’s start here: Scriptures give powerful teachings about how to live, but how do we actually put those teachings into practice when we are hurting, when we are anxious, when we are depressed, or when we are stuck? People have been reading scriptures for more than 2,000 years. That’s a long time. That’s a lot of scripture. And what is the fruit? Wars are fought over scripture. What is the fruit of scripture in your life?
I don’t know… Shahram has 57—57!—weaknesses, which is… I wish I only had 57 weaknesses. And I read my Scriptures, and I’m not sure how to make this all come together, because truthfully, we are still a very, very long way from any realistic hope of being a Zion community—because we don’t do a good job of implementing what we learn in the Scriptures. And that’s okay. It’s not easy. It’s actually quite hard.
And so my working theory is that modern psychology and therapy provide the practical tools that help us implement scriptural principles. So imagine my delight to listen to Dr. Otteson yesterday. Imagine my delight to hear the things that have been talked about this weekend and how, in my brain, it’s all about the implementation of tools and skills and interventions to help marry those things together.
Our Scriptures frequently speak about our inner lives, our thoughts, our feelings, our relationships, forgiveness, humility, renewal; and modern therapies study those same domains and teach methods to affect them in a positive way. The overlap is not a coincidence, because both of these things—scriptures and psychology & mental health principles—aim at human flourishing. God wants us to thrive in this life, not just strive our way through it. And if you can learn how to implement scriptural principles into your life, you will thrive the way your God wants you to.
So I have three separate parallels I’m gonna make.
And the first one is the concept of:
RENEWING THE MIND, WHICH IS COGNITIVE BEHAVIORAL THERAPY
In Romans 1:59 RE, And be not conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what that good, and acceptable, and perfect will of God is.
Philippians 1:15 RE, Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are honorable, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are a good report — if there is any virtue and if there is any praise — think on these things. Those things which you have both learned and received, and heard and seen in me, do, and the God of peace shall be with you.
Mosiah 2:6 CE, However, I can warn you that if you don’t remain vigilant and play close attention to your thoughts, words, and actions, and if you don’t follow God’s commandments and maintain your faith in the Lord until the end of your life, you will perish.
Alma 9:4 CE, Our words will condemn us, our works will condemn us, our thoughts will condemn us, and we can’t be found spotless. In that awful condition, we won’t dare to look up to God.
Cognitive behavioral therapy helps people notice and reframe their distressing thoughts that lead to harmful feelings and behaviors.
So what is the spiritual experience of a young lady who struggles with self-worth, self-harm, and self-loathing? Her religious life might be filled with grief and guilt and shame because she knows what she’s supposed to do, but she struggles with all of these other things. Cognitive behavioral therapy helps identify those thoughts, test their evidence, and practice alternative statements and strategies, enabling this young woman to engage in the spiritual practices that require self-regard, self-respect, empathy, and hope—the things that she hears week after week that she’s supposed to be doing, but she can’t. Cognitive behavioral therapy can help that.
All right, the second one:
FORGIVENESS AND RELATIONAL REPAIR
Colossians 1:13 RE, Put on therefore as the elect of God, holy and beloved, hearts of mercies, kindness, humility of mind, meekness, long-suffering, bearing with one another and forgiving one another. If any man have a quarrel against any, even as Christ forgave you, so also do you; and above all these things put on charity, which is the bond of perfectness.
Ephesians 1:16 RE, And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake has forgiven you.
(Oh, I forgot to tell you, my scripture references will be some Covenant of Christ, some Book of Mormon, some you’ll have to figure it out.)
[T&C] 51:3, Wherefore, I say unto you that you ought to forgive one another, for he that forgives not his brother his trespasses stands condemned before the Lord, for there remains in him the greater sin. I, the Lord, will forgive whom I will forgive, but of you it is required to forgive all men.
Mosiah 9:7 CE, Are you willing to help carry each other’s burdens, to lighten them for one another? Are you willing to mourn with those who mourn, and comfort those who need comforting?
And there are plenty of others. Scriptures mandate forgiveness, reconciliation, bearing one another’s burdens.
Attachment theory/relational therapies describe how early relationships shape our expectations and our reactivity as adults in relationships. What is the religious experience of a person who has been abused by a trusted adult, or whose relational wounds by parents/siblings/church leaders make it hard to trust or forgive? They can read scriptures all day and still struggle to implement the principles. These individuals can benefit from attachment-informed therapy, which helps regulate their fear responses and build safe relational patterns so forgiveness and trust that is mandated in the Scriptures actually becomes possible.
I meet with people who can’t do this stuff, no matter how much they want to. My job is to offer them tools so they can live the spiritual life they want to.
Third one:
EMOTIONAL REGULATION AND SELF-CONTROL
This is a DBT and mindfulness practice.
Proverbs [16:32 KJV], He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he that ruleth his spirit than he that taketh a city. (See also Proverbs 2:216 RE.)
Galatians 1:22 RE, But the fruit of the spirit is love, joy, peace, long-suffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance. Against…there is no such law.
Alma 18:4 RE, Use boldness, but not overbearance; and also see that ye bridle all your passions, that ye may be filled with love. See that you refrain from idleness.
Mosiah 2:6 RE, And see that all these things are done in wisdom and order, for it is not requisite that a man should run faster than he has strength. And again, it is expedient that he should be diligent, that thereby he might win the prize. Therefore, all things must be done in order.
Many scriptures call for self-control, patience, and being calm in the face of provocation. Dialectical behavioral therapies teach concrete emotional regulation skills, distress tolerance, and mindfulness, which make the virtues you are aspiring to possible.
What is the religious experience of someone who grew up in a house where emotions were ignored or suppressed? This individual might have big emotions, and they might express them in very unhealthy ways. They might not understand what they’re experiencing. Often, they show up volatile and intense. This person apologizes and repents over and over for this behavior, but is loath to change it. Learning distress tolerance and mindfulness allows this person to pause and choose the responses that are aligned with the scriptures that they believe in.
Why does this matter? Why is this important? Because scriptures give the ideals, and therapy gives the method. Scripture very often states what we are to be.
- We are to be charitable.
- We are to be kind.
- We are to be tempered.
- We are to be godly.
- We are to love.
- We are to… I mean, on and on and on and on.
Therapy shows us how to do those things. Mental health principles show us how to do those things. Psychology shows us how to do those things, especially if we are traumatized, habituated, or somehow neurobiologically have some kind of interference.
We have our ideals, and we must have actual implementation. I am weary of scriptural ideals void of implementation. I am exhausted of scriptural ideas void of implementation. Scriptural imperatives are necessary, but they are not always sufficient for people whose brains and bodies are patterned by trauma, depression, anxiety, or other entrenched behaviors.
Therapy, good mental health principles, those… (psychology) …provide the rehearsed practices, skill acquisition, and structured change processes, like behavioral activation, exposure therapy, skills training, so that people can live according to the ideals they sincerely endorse and want to live by.
There are numerous studies that show the therapies of CBT and DBT and trauma therapies reduce symptoms, improve functioning, provide people with healthier mental states, which increases capacity for spiritual activities like prayer, service, and forgiveness. This empirical effectiveness, the fact that I stand up here and tell you that there are studies that do this, does not replace faith. It doesn’t replace the work of engaging in God’s word, but it does show that God’s creation responds to skillful interventions and community support.
SO WHAT OF THIS HORRIBLE THING WE CALL THE ARM OF FLESH?
Oh, my goodness. Psychology: the arm of flesh. This is a legitimate worry. It is okay to be concerned that you are relying too heavily on something that is not godly. Let’s talk about that.
2 Chronicles 16:31 RE, With him is an arm of flesh, but with us is the Lord our God, to help us and to fight our battles.
Okay, some of these will sound very much cherry-picked, and that’s okay. You are welcome to go find your own supplemental scriptures to bolster this idea I have, but I want to break this down into these small pieces so that you understand.
In this particular scripture, I think the key is the arm of flesh, being human strength alone. Okay? I think we would all agree that human strength alone is nothing. We have heard repeatedly this weekend that with God, all things are possible. Absolutely. God must be part of this. But in this particular scripture, when it goes on to say, “…but with us is the Lord our God,” we are utilizing divine help beyond human ability. Human effort will never be sufficient.
So in 2 Nephi 3:8 CE, O Lord, I’ve trusted in You and will trust in You forever. I won’t put my trust in the scholarly arrogance of man, because I know those who trust in arrogant fools are cursed. Indeed, those who put their trust in the vain teachings of a man and trust them as if they were truth are cursed.
There are some very strong words there: “arrogant,” “vain.” I agree. We should not trust arrogant, vain men who don’t also trust the Lord. But that doesn’t mean that everything outside of our three volumes of Scripture is arrogant or vain or foolish.
The arm of flesh—the phrase “arm of flesh”—is an admonition not to make human means ultimate. But our scripture traditions and our Scriptures also teach the use of additional means (like medicine, study, service) alongside dependence on God. So how do we use means (medicine, study) alongside faith to make us more comfortable that we are not relying on the arm of flesh?
James 1 talks about faith. What profit is it, my brethren, for a man to say he has faith, and has not works? Can faith save him? Yea, a man may say, I will show you I have faith without works. But I say, show me your faith without works and I will show you my faith by my works. For if a brother or sister are naked and destitute, and one of you say, Depart in peace, be warmed and filled — notwithstanding he give not those things which are needful to the body — what profit is your faith unto such? Even so faith, if it has not works…is dead, being alone. Therefore will you know, O vain man, that faith without works is dead and cannot save you. (James 1:11 RE)
“Even so faith, if it ha[th] not works…is dead, being alone.”
“Yea, a man may say, thou hast faith, and I have works. Show me my faith without thy works, and I will show thee my faith by my works.”
Okay, long scripture, basically to talk about “talk, talk, talk, talk, talk.” But if you don’t actually do something about your “talk, talk, talk, talk, talk,” your faith is pretty vacuous and empty.
The work of self-awareness, the work of therapy, the work of reading books about mental health principles is an act of faith. It is an act of faith.
In 1 Timothy 1:15 RE, it says, Drink no longer water, but use a little wine for your stomach’s sake and your often infirmities.
All right, well, that’s a pretty simple scriptural statement saying, “Hey, take a little bit of wine here and see if you can make yourself feel better.” Okay? Well, that’s an “outside means.”
T&C 26:11, And whoever among you that is sick and has not faith to be healed, but believes, shall be nourished in all tenderness with herbs and mild foods, and that, not of the world.
Again, a temporal intervention. Using temporal means is an approved part of God’s plan for healing—all temporal means. That’s why Shahram had a doctor’s appointment, because he was using temporal means.
Article of Faith 13, We believe in being honest, true, chaste, benevolent, virtuous, and in doing good to all men; indeed…if there is anything virtuous, lovely, or of good report, or praiseworthy, we seek after these things (T&C 146:33).
Psychology used as a tool for good, therapy used as a tool for good, mental health principles used as a tool for good, fits this mandate.
There is plenty of historical precedent in religious communities and traditions, where multiple disciplines—fasting, confession, pastoral counseling, secular tools, medicine, education—are all part of faithful living. So how do we integrate these things? How do we integrate these things if we have been afraid of them? How do we integrate them if we have had bad experiences with them? Because I’m certain some people have. I don’t doubt that.
Philippians 1:15 RE, Be afflicted for nothing, but in everything, by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known unto God, and the peace of God which passes all understanding shall keep your hearts and minds through [Jesus Christ]. Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are honorable, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are a good report — if there is any virtue and if there is any praise — think on these things.
This is prayer and action. Prayer should be part of any kind of integrating new truth, new ideas. Pray; ask for guidance and inspiration and discernment. You don’t have to believe everything you read.
Proverbs 2:46 RE, Where no counsel is, the people fall; but in the multitude of counselors there is safety.
Seeking wise counsel—including therapeutic counsel, including therapeutic resources—is prudent. God expects us to use the brains He gave us and the discernment that we have access to, to figure out how to implement all truth.
2 Nephi 14:3 CE, Because if you are willing to listen to the Spirit that teaches a person to pray, you would know you must pray. Because the evil spirit doesn’t teach a person to pray; on the contrary, it teaches a person they must not pray. But I tell you that you must always pray and not be discouraged, and you must not begin to work on anything for the Lord unless you first pray to the Father in the name of Christ that He’ll consecrate your performance to you, so your performance can be for your soul’s well-being.
Again, pray. Prayer is the constant, as other tools can be used.
T&C 86:29, …seek diligently and teach one another words of wisdom, yea, seek out of the best books words of wisdom. Seek learning, even by study and also by faith.
I don’t even have to say anything about this one. Therapists, psychology texts can be sources of wisdom. Any kind of material that teaches you truth is advocated.
I have mentioned this before: scripture reading, all my life, all the things. And I went back to school (and I don’t remember what year it was), but I learned more about gospel principles in my textbooks than I had learned in my entire life of reading scripture. I don’t know if I’m acknowledging something I should be condemned for. You might start shooting arrows and darts and say, “Okay, that’s your problem.” But I also believe wholeheartedly, God opened my eyes and showed me truth so that, today, my scripture reading informs my work, informs my scripture reading, informs how I seek for wisdom in the best books. If I had given up my textbooks during that time period to read my scriptures as a priority, I would have missed out on all that God was teaching me.
The other thing you can do is choose good resources. You can choose good therapists. You can choose good books. Using mental health skills and principles as part of a holistic plan—that includes prayer, scripture study, fellowship, rituals, all the things that you do—you never have to reduce your reliance on God while you practice these other means.
Pray and act. And learning the skills is how you act after you have done all of the other things. It is not an either-or. It is a “both and…” It will always be a “both and.”
OKAY, SO I HAVE SOME SCENARIOS FOR YOU:
So I imagine some of you have people in your life who you maybe know are depressed. And if you know a depressed person, there are some characteristics that depressed people have that are fairly universal, okay?
- They have lack of motivation.
- Sometimes, a depressed person may have had a lot of passion about what they used to do, but nothing brings them joy anymore.
- They’re sort of flat.
- They isolate.
- It’s really hard for them to engage in things.
- They’re hopeless.
- They have a really hard time following through on counsel, okay?
How does a depressed person implement scriptural mandates if they can hardly get out of bed in the morning? That’s kind of hard. And so they’re filled with shame and guilt and self-loathing because the community they’re in has some expectations. Oh, “Just read your Scriptures; you’ll feel better,” okay?
An intervention—a behavioral activation intervention—which includes really, really tiny things, tiny achievable activities, okay?
Matthew 11:17 RE, Well done, good and faithful servant. You have been faithful over a few things, I will make you ruler over many things. Enter into the joy of your Lord.
Behavioral activation is about being faithful over a few things. A cognitive behavioral intervention for depression would be:
- Shower every day,
- Cook one meal,
- Reach out to one friend.
Alma 17:8 CE, But I tell you, great things are accomplished by ordinary, simple things. And simple methods, in many instances, prove the wise are wrong. The Lord…can use anything to accomplish His great and eternal purposes.
Again, admonition to do small things. Scheduling one small, achievable activity is a small and simple thing. I have many clients for whom that intervention would make so much sense. And they would love the reference to the Scriptures about small and simple things. It would make them feel like their scripture understands them, gets them, knows that their life needs to be improved by these tiny, little things. The more you do, the more capacity you have, the more connection you have.
Okay, case two, trauma or the inability to forgive or trust.
Perhaps the problem includes flashbacks, hypervigilance, avoidance, relational rupture, okay? Lots of interventions: attachment work, paced exposure therapy, building relational trust, perhaps mentor support or, you know (we don’t have “clergy” specifically, but, you know), fellowship support.
The Scriptures call for healing and reconciliation. Trauma work removes the barriers that make reconciliation impossible. If you are hypervigilant because of abuse or trauma, you cannot forgive or trust. And it’s not your fault.
This scripture… So this scripture is related to that: The spirit of the Lord God is upon me, because the Lord has anointed me to preach good tidings unto the meek; he has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to them that are bound… (Isaiah 23:1 RE)
Now, I just had an emotional reaction to that because I have read this talk and this scripture, I don’t know, a dozen times. I just realized that’s me. I am providing a resource to people to help bind up their broken hearts, to help them proclaim liberty to the captives, and help them open the prisons that bind them so they can open up to trust and forgiveness.
3 Nephi 10:3 CE, O you afflicted, storm-tossed, and suffering one, know that I will provide a foundation as sturdy as rock and beautiful as sapphire. I’ll make your towers more valuable than rubies, doors that are precious, surrounded by heavenly designs upon the walls.
God promises to rebuild the afflicted, and therapy can be a tool to help support that divine rebuilding process.
2 Corinthians 1:18 RE, Therefore, if any man live in Christ, he is a new creature (old things are passed away; behold, all things have become new), and receives all the things of God, who has reconciled us to himself by Jesus Christ, and has given to us the ministry of reconciliation — namely that God is, in Christ, reconciling the world unto himself, not imputing their trespasses unto them — and has committed unto us the word of reconciliation.
The goal is reconciliation. And therapy, mental help, all of those things can be part of that ministry by healing the wounds that prevent it.
T&C 4:7, Wherefore, learn of me and listen to my words, walk in the meekness of my spirit, and ye shall have peace in me, Jesus Christ, by the will of the Father.
Trauma therapies can help people clear away the noise of hypervigilance and fear and mistrust to finally be able to listen and walk in peace.
All right, chronic anger and reactive behavior.
So you’ve got a problem: repeated hurtful responses. Maybe somebody is really volatile, really aggressive. Interventions: dialectical behavioral therapy, emotion regulation, distress tolerance.
The Scriptures teach us that we should turn the other cheek. We should show meekness, self-mastery. Skills give us the capacity to live those teachings.
3 Nephi 5:[30] CE: Accept life’s injustices gracefully, and when someone hits your right cheek, turn to him the other also. And if someone sues you under the law to get your coat, let them have your overcoat too. And whoever orders you to go a mile, go two. Give to any that ask of you, and if someone wants to borrow from you, never turn them down.
This teaching requires immense emotional regulation, which is a skill taught in DBT. And if you don’t have it, you don’t have it, and that’s okay—but you can learn it.
Proverbs 4:23 RE, He that has no rule over his own spirit is like a city that is broken down and without walls.
Anybody know anybody who’s emotionally reactive (poor emotional skills, poor emotional regulation) and the need for walls? Okay? Therapeutic interventions can help provide the walls so that the emotionally dysregulated have confined containment.
Mosiah 1:16 RE, For the natural man is an enemy to God, and has been from the fall of Adam, and will be for ever and ever but if he yields to the enticings of the holy spirit, and putteth off the natural man, and becometh a saint through the atonement of Christ the Lord, and becometh as a child: submissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love, willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon him, even as a child doth submit to his father.
The spiritual goal here is to be submissive, to put off the natural man. Therapy, mental health principles, psychology provide the practical skills to put off the reactive natural man.
T&C 139:6, No power or influence can or ought…be maintained by virtue of the priesthood; only by persuasion, …long-suffering, …gentleness …meekness, …by love unfeigned, …kindness …pure knowledge, which shall greatly enlarge the soul; without hypocrisy…without guile; reproving betimes with sharpness when moved upon by the holy ghost, and then showing forth afterward an increase of love toward him you have reproved (lest he esteem you to be his enemy), that he may know that your faithfulness is stronger than the cords of death; your bowels also being full of charity toward all men, and to the household of faith; and virtue garnish your thoughts unceasingly.
This is the ideal of interpersonal conduct. My, what a daydream, what a fantasy to see this kind of behavior in interpersonal conduct among ourselves, our families. Ah! Give me a minute. Mmm. Therapy teaches concrete skills of persuasion, gentleness, and effective communication to replace reactive anger.
So those are three scenarios, fairly common scenarios. I, you know… If you know people at all, you know someone who falls into one of those categories.
So we need to bridge the gap and figure out:
HOW SPIRITUAL PRACTICES AND THERAPY COMPLEMENT EACH OTHER.
Prayer plus therapy homework, scripture plus cognitive reframing: How do we make these concepts work? Well, there’s two ways: I’m gonna focus on the individual; we can bring in congregations and community too, but I’m gonna focus on the individual for now.
So individuals can use scriptures, prayer, discernment to seek out wisdom, counsel, and stewardship. So you would start by reflecting on your needs, honestly, before God. So that would mean everybody would have to take an inventory of what their weaknesses are, where they are struggling.
- You might ask a trusted friend.
- You might ask “client A” if you’re “client B” [referencing Dr. Otteson’s talk from the prior day] to help you figure out if you’re client B or client A.
…which reminded me of a little side note—because I watched a video several years ago by a woman who talked about self-awareness, and she wrote a whole book on this. And so she did a lot of research, and part of her research findings were… She was trying to test for self-awareness. So the part of her test was: You had to claim you were self-aware, and then you had to have three other people in your life confirm that you were self-aware. Okay, her research showed that 85% of her study subjects believed that they were self-aware, and only 15% actually were, which means that the rest of us are lying—are walking around lying to ourselves—about what we know about ourselves.
So in order to really utilize scripture, discernment, prayer, you have to start by figuring out, more or less, what’s wrong with you. And that can be really hard.
I was watching Dr. Otteson’s presentation yesterday, and I realized that there were a handful of things wrong with me that I didn’t know were wrong with me. So every opportunity you can find to figure out what’s wrong with you, I suggest you do so.
And then Psalms 139:4 RE says, Search me, O God, and know my heart. Try me and know my thoughts. And see if there is any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.
A prayer honestly asking God, “What lack I yet?” is the first step of implementation.
Alma 16:35 CE, Therefore, may God grant you, my friends, that you begin to exercise faith followed by repentance, so you begin to call on His holy name so He can give mercy to you. Pray to Him for mercy, because He is powerful to save. Humble yourselves and continue praying to Him. Pray out loud to Him when you’re in your fields, over all your flocks. Pray out loud to Him in your houses, over all your household — morning, midday, and evening. Pray aloud to Him against the power of your enemies. Pray aloud to Him against Satan, who’s an enemy of all the righteousness. Pray [out loud] to Him over the crops of your fields, that they thrive for you. Pray aloud over the flocks of your fields, so they can increase. But this isn’t everything. You must pour out your souls in…private rooms and secret places and in…secluded retreats. And when you don’t pray aloud to the Lord, let your hearts be full, drawn out in silent prayer to Him continually for your well-being as well as the well-being of those around you.
Prayer is where we take our most vulnerable, raw, unfiltered struggles, including all of our mental health challenges or struggles. He is there to help guide you.
I have a lot… I worked for an agency who had a profoundly LDS clientele, just a lot of LDS, some very active, some sort of coming and going, some having faith crisis. All of the therapists that I worked with in that place honored and respected and valued and revered their clients and their clients’ faith. I had a lot of conversations, a lot of consultation, a lot of meetings with these therapists, and—whether they were in the church, out of the church; members, not members—these people were stellar therapists who valued people’s spiritual journeys. That—in my world—that doesn’t seem like a rare find because of where I worked. I suppose it could be a rare find.
But you can find therapists and resources and materials that do not challenge or undermine your beliefs. There is a lot of crappy information out there. There are a lot of crappy therapists out there. There are crappy doctors and accountants and lawyers and all kinds of things. You can find the good ones. But you must seek for them.
Proverbs [19:20 KJV], Hear counsel and receive instruction, that thou mayest be wise in thy latter end. (See also Proverbs 2:289 RE.) Okay?
Seek a therapist as an act of wisdom for your future, for your children’s future, for your children’s children’s future. There’s a lot of stuff we have to get rid of. There’s a lot of stuff we have to get rid of in our lives that, I’m sure, individually we’re aware of. There’s a lot of stuff in our lives that we have to get rid of, we haven’t even… We’re not even aware of it.
Proverbs 2:46 RE, Where no counsel is, the people fall; but in the multitude of counselors there is safety.
A mentor, a religious leader, a best friend, a spouse, a sibling, a therapist, a book: There’s lots of ways to find help and support and increase safety in understanding that we are all broken and in need of wise counselors.
T&C 90:5, Search diligently, pray always, and be believing, and all things shall work together for your good, if you walk uprightly and remember the covenant wherewith you have covenanted one with another.
So again, search for help, find good people, find a good therapist, find good resources.
This stuff that I’m putting together—I mean, other than finding the scriptures and putting it together with the scriptures—this is nothing new. I am using resources from people and therapists and psychologists and psychiatrists, Christian, non-Christian, who are already doing this work, who are already putting this stuff together. I have just felt very strongly that it needs to be put together with our Scriptures and our understanding so that we don’t have to be so afraid of this.
You can easily combine therapy with spiritual disciplines—easily. I do it all the time.
1 Thessalonians 1:13 RE, Wherefore, comfort yourselves together and edify one another, even as also you do.
I can assure you, my work is edifying. Having a trusted friend you can talk to about your difficulties is edifying. Going to lunch with someone that you can be vulnerable and honest with and share your struggles is edifying. Do not hide and avoid and suffer in isolation; you’re not helping yourselves, you’re not helping your family, and you are not helping a community you want to belong to.
2 Timothy 1:9 RE, And all scripture given by inspiration of God is profitable — for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness, that the man of God may be perfect, thoroughly furnished unto all good works.
Again, scripture provides the instruction, and therapy can provide the furnishing of the skills to live it out.
I’ve been in the neighborhood that we live in and the ward that we go to occasionally, we’ve been there 30 years; some new, some old, whatever. But as of late, a lot of the women in Relief Society are being a lot more open about their struggles (and this is a little side note), but I have been amazed at how many women are now willing and open about acknowledging their anxiety, or their depression, or how hard it is to come to church, or how they haven’t felt God’s love in decades because of their anxiety or their struggles. And to see these women (who are easily in their 60s and early 70s) acknowledging this for the first time both fills me with immense joy and breaks my heart. I heard one woman talk to another woman and say, “I knew God loved you, but I had no idea He loved me.” And I don’t know, it just feels crazy to me.
Mosiah 9:7 CE, Are you willing to help carry each other’s burdens, to lighten them for one another? Are you willing to mourn with those who mourn, and comfort those who need comforting?
These women are in their 70s before they are willing to look to their church community for comfort and support.
A spiritual mentor, a congregation, a fellowship: These are support systems we should be using. We shouldn’t feel ashamed, or embarrassed, or guilty for our struggles. We should not shame others for their struggles. We need to press forward with a steadfastness in Christ, having a perfect brightness of hope, and a love of God and all men (2 Nephi 13:4 RE), regardless of their weaknesses. Therapy, mental health, psychology, Scriptures, prayer: These are the ways we press forward when we feel spiritually and emotionally stuck.
So let’s again talk about small beginnings. What else can we do?
Zechariah 1:10 RE, For who has despised the day of small things?
Okay, cherry-picking scripture: a powerful reminder not to despise small things.
There is a small step that always needs to be taken first. It could be practicing a new skill. It could be taking your medication. It could be calling and making an appointment. It could be reaching out to a friend. Small things make a big difference.
Matthew 11:18 RE, You have been faithful over a few things, I will make you ruler over many things. Enter into the joy of your lord.
Celebrating our small acts, faithful acts—like praying twice a day, completing your therapy homework—these are divinely approved behaviors and activities. God wants us to thrive.
Alma [17]:8 CE, But I tell you great things are accomplished by ordinary, simple things. And simple methods, in many instances, prove the wise are wrong.
Okay, second scripture for the same thing:
T&C 51.8, Wherefore, be not weary in well doing, for you are laying the foundation of great work, and out of small things proceeds that which is great.
This is a perfect scripture for encouraging a therapeutic process or reaching out into new areas of wisdom. A small thing—like a weekly appointment, a chapter in a book, a podcast—is the foundation for a great work of healing.
So those are the kinds of things that individuals can do. I’m gonna lump the congregational stuff or the fellowship stuff just in one thing. First of all, educate yourselves.
Do not believe because you have one person who tells you that their experience with therapy or psychology was a disaster, that that will be everybody’s experience. Okay? Feel free to think for yourselves. Feel free to pick up a book, read a chapter. If you don’t like it, put it down. Feel free to test the spirit, determine through discernment, whether this is something that God wants you to pursue or learn or read. But take a step.
Talk to other people. Find people who’ve had positive experiences with these things. Find out how they ended up with positive experiences.
Use your resources in your fellowships and in your families and in your neighborhoods to learn some things. Encourage a culture where seeking help is seen as a stewardship, not a weakness. Help people help themselves.
And sometimes the last thing a person needs to hear is for someone to tell them to pray more and read their Scriptures. Sometimes that’s actually not helpful! It CAN be, as you bring in more tools; it WILL be, as you bring in more tools.
Provide resources that have been vetted. Okay, if you’ve read a great book and you’re like, “This was great!”, recommend it to someone. If you’ve got a good podcast you love, recommend that to someone. If you got halfway through a book and you didn’t really like it, maybe don’t recommend it. But use each other as resources.
Denver put a resource list up on his blog a few days ago, and you know what I heard? I heard a lot of, “That wasn’t him; that had to have been Stephanie.” Well, maybe. Gotcha.
Create support structures. Okay? We’re all in this together. A lot of it you have to do alone. Zion is internal before it is external. So a lot of it you have to do on your own. But a lot of it you have to do in community. Okay? There is no Buddhist monk who lives on the top of a hill who will ever understand conflict resolution or emotional regulation because he has the pleasure and the virtue—pleasure and the, I don’t know, resources—to stay away from the people who bug him!
This doesn’t happen in a vacuum. It happens in relationships. Sitting home reading your Scriptures and then writing blog posts or talking about them in fellowships or patting yourself on the back for how much scripture you read will never get us to Zion. Doing that and being in relationship and working out your conflict? That will.
Scriptures give us our ideals. I love the Scriptures. I love the ideals that the Scriptures give. I love reading my Scriptures with all I have learned because I see so much of God in the work I do. Every day I see it. Mental health principles—which can include therapy, medication, books, resources—can be (IS) a faithful means when used with discernment and integrated with our spiritual practices.
Psychology is not a replacement; it is a supplement. Dwindling in belief is not just one thing.
When one prizes his or her errors and holds them as true (when they are not), one dwindles in unbelief. Unbelief is often used in connection with losing truth, forsaking doctrine, and therefore “dwindling.” The phrase “dwindling in unbelief” is the Book of Mormon’s way to describe moving from a state of belief, with true and complete doctrine, to a state of unbelief, where the truth has been discarded. Miracles end because men dwindle in unbelief. (Supra.)
Don’t for one minute kid yourselves into thinking that disregarding the principles of good mental health and psychology—which are true principles of all who claim to follow God, as found throughout all the Scriptures—isn’t its own version of dwindling in unbelief. And the stupidity of rejecting those principles will certainly be its own punishment.
In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.